At one time that I felt completely helpless and powerless, I saw a large number of people enjoying themselves, celebrating the victory of the Revolution. I witnessed that a new class of rulers was emerging very quickly. It was the turn of the new group of people to enjoy life, to feel goodness of power. I belong to the previous. The new group was trying to eliminate the previous group as they thought that only with the elimination of the previous group their victory would be guaranteed. To me they did not need to prove their victory by eliminating those who have already lost it. They were quite different. They thought that the defeated could emerge again and challenge their power. Somehow they had identified me as a potential rebel. They felt that I had a good track record and I was popular among many people. They hated popular people. They hated me because I was a popular person. That was the reason that a systematic policy of discrediting me began. Now that I think of those days their conclusion was correct but that was before I got sick. After I got sick things became very different however my instincts to survive became stronger than ever.
The opportunists, who were not able to achieve anything considerable before, now had the opportunity to rob others from their achievements and properties. Since there was no any accountability, they associated themselves with the revolutionaries and confiscated illegally the movable possessions of everybody who had worked very hard to save for old age. The new group was controlling the streets.
At that time I had a big American car. Once when I was driving, it caught the attention of the few of these thugs. They used two motor bikes and stopped in front of me and stopped me asking for my credentials and ID cards. In those days it is very dangerous to take my ID cards as they could have been used for my arrest and execution. I therefore did not have any ID in my car and it was also very difficult to prove that the car belonged to me. But I had something which was more credible than ordinary credentials and my ID. And that was a pistol. When these thugs stopped me they surrounded me and asked me for my ID. I said OK and asked all to come on one side of the car to control my ID. I showed a piece of paper I had already prepared for this purpose and then, while they were looking at it, I took my pistol and extended my hand towards them and asked them if they could also look at this new ID. Once they saw the pistol they got scared. I asked if that ID was okay and they said, "Absolutely." From that moment I realised that what mattered was the power of gun and nothing else. They let me go.
I moved away quickly but with a new understanding. The present circumstances did not like the gentle person I was. They needed a person with a tough attitude and a gun. I realised that I could deal with a gun with those who carried guns. I am an average person physically. Although I am well-built I am not a fighter. I do not like to hit people or getting beaten up by others.
Using a gun was quite normal and acceptable in my own traditional culture. In fact everybody carried a gun. First I thought that was my way. But I had never used a gun and therefore when I looked at the pistol I began trembling. By nature I am not a bold man. You could say that I am coward. I was really scared of fighting. But if I needed to fight and kill in order to survive, I decided to go for it. This state of mind stayed with me for while. But I realised that I have always been a persuader. A persuader uses his brain to resolve problems and not a gun. I knew that these tough times would continue for a long time to come and I couldn't carry a gun with me all the time but I could carry my brain all the time. I realised that surviving tough times required more brain than guns.
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